1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,480 What are we going to call this baby? 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,200 Gillian had an abortion when she was 15. 3 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,920 I want to be somebody's mum. 4 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,840 I just never knew I'd been a dad. 5 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:11,120 You weren't. I'm not being funny but I'm off home. 6 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,720 It's poisonous. Saying something like that. 7 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:18,080 Don't you dare say anything about Celia to me! 8 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,160 They're going off on a mucky weekend. 9 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,800 I'm taking Kate to a nice little hotel for the weekend. 10 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,480 We're baby-sitting the boys. 11 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:25,520 Have you seen Ellie? 12 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,200 She's not upstairs. She's not downstairs. Her stuff's gone. 13 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,000 Thanks for coming. No problem. 14 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,480 I want to tell you something. 15 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:35,560 He'd smashed his head open. With the log splitter. 16 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,280 Down in t'barn. He'd done it on purpose. 17 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,720 She'd finished him off. 18 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,520 With a block of wood. She killed him. 19 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,080 I'm going to look after the baby while you do your shift 20 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:47,440 at Greenhough's. You sure? 21 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,400 I am...very fond of you. 22 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,440 Have I said too much? 23 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:41,920 No. No. 24 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,840 Have I upset you? 25 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:48,040 Well, it's a shock. I suppose. 26 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:51,600 You won't tell anyone? Not even Caroline. 27 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,440 I don't tell her everything. 28 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,680 Are you all right? 29 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,600 Well... 30 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,200 I know what it can feel like to feel trapped, 31 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,320 with the wrong person. 32 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,320 Yeah. Well, she were. 33 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,920 What could you have done, 34 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,560 if it'd all happened by the time you got there? 35 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,840 It's like I said before - when I gave you the edited version - 36 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,560 there were no way I were shopping her to t'police. 37 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,920 And it weren't just her! There were t'lad. 38 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,160 He were only seven. 39 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,760 What good could she have done him in prison? 40 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,920 You probably did the right thing. You probably did the only thing. 41 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:35,040 I'd've had to live with it either way, as what I'd done. 42 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,600 And Robbie suspected? 43 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:39,640 Yeah. 44 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:44,480 He looked into it. They'd have looked into it anyway, 45 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,000 and they did ask questions. 46 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:48,840 Lots of questions. 47 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,280 They had me in twice. 48 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,440 Who rang the police? 49 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,360 She did. 50 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,680 I told her it'd look odd if I'd got there 51 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,600 and then I'd been one to ring. 52 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,080 You kept your nerve. 53 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,640 I had to for her sake. 54 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,280 And I had to hope to God she'd keep hers. 55 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,960 Because if she hadn't, I'd have been an accessory after the fact. 56 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,880 I was an accessory after the fact. 57 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,000 I am an accessory after the fact. 58 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,360 Anyway, look. 59 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:29,240 That is why she ought to be a bit more grateful, 60 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,360 a bit more courteous, and why, ten years on, 61 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:36,160 it's no hardship to me to put a little distance between me 62 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:41,160 and her, and if I never have reason to set foot in that barn again... 63 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,840 I'd be a very happy man. 64 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,200 I am a very happy man. 65 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,960 Like I never imagined that I could be, ever again. 66 00:03:55,600 --> 00:04:00,880 It's ten past three. Aren't we meant to be looking after Lawrence? 67 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,040 DOOR OPENS 68 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,080 Hello? 69 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,120 Hello! 70 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,520 Hello. 71 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,360 Hi. How're you? How's things? 72 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,160 Pretty weird. 73 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,200 Course. 74 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,520 Where's me mum? 75 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,480 Work. I offered to look after... 76 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,320 Right. 77 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,480 She rang. And she sounded pretty low, 78 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,680 so I offered to pop over and help out. 79 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:54,840 Why did she ask you? 80 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,960 Oh. Well. Just... I dunno. 81 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,880 So, you've driven 60 miles over from Harrogate to baby-sit? 82 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,120 Well not just... As I say, she sounded rather low, so... 83 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:15,280 Right. Do you want some tea? 84 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,040 Got some. Thanks. 85 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,880 OK. Well I'm here now anyway, so... 86 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,800 if you wanted to miss rush hour. M62 gets well jammed. 87 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,920 Especially on a Friday. Oh. No. The thing is, 88 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,880 she invited me to stay for supper. 89 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,760 Oh. OK. 90 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,160 Are you all right with her, then? If I play on the Xbox? 91 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,920 Sure! Or she can come and sit and watch me. 92 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:42,040 How are things? With... is it Ellie? 93 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,440 She's cleared off. 94 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,720 Oh, she's at her mother's. Gillian said. 95 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,040 She had a phone call from someone. Harry? 96 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:57,200 Right. I don't know then. How things are. Legally. 97 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,840 I don't know if that means she's left her with me and that's it, 98 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,080 or if it means she can just come back any time she likes 99 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,240 and just take her. 100 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,600 No. No. You have rights too. 101 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,880 You're on the birth certificate as the father. 102 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,160 Not yet, we've not... Oh, well. You'll want to sort that out. 103 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,880 I would, straightaway, right now. 104 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,120 You've got to protect your interests. 105 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,680 The law is weighted massively, 106 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,720 ridiculously on the side of the mother. 107 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:23,120 If you're not even on the birth certificate, legally you're... 108 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,280 stuffed. 109 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,400 Listen, I'm talking as someone whose relationship with his children 110 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,520 has been really compromised by being married 111 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,080 to a mad manipulative lesbian. 112 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,360 I thought it was cos you had a fling wi' that, um.... 113 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,400 Judith? 114 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,840 Why don't I drive you into Halifax? Get it done. 115 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,440 Now? You need to phone her. Ellie. 116 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,840 Tell her we'll pick her up. You both need to be there. 117 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,040 Ten o'clock, no later than. 118 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,440 Don't let him persuade you that it's the weekend 119 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,480 and he can stay up till any time he likes. 120 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,920 Keep an eye on how much snackage he gets through otherwise 121 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,880 he won't eat any of the meals you go to the trouble of preparing for him. 122 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,280 9:30 in the morning he needs to be at rugby. He knows that, 123 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,240 but if you can be on top of it as well. What else? 124 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:09,720 I've invited Angus round for a sleep-over. 125 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,120 Can you handle that? 126 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,960 Is he Scottish? 127 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,000 No. 128 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,000 I imagine we'll muddle through. 129 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,200 Right. I'm going to get changed. 130 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,920 Me and Kate can give you a lift to work, Will, if you like. 131 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:25,360 It's on our way. Yeah. Whatever. 132 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,320 Sorry, was that, "Thanks, Mum, thanks for offering me a lift 133 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,080 "to work so I don't have to catch a bus"? 134 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,440 Bloody hate that job. 135 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,800 You know he hates that job. 136 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,480 Yes, well, when he's been to university he'll be able to get 137 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,960 a properly-paid job that doesn't bore him rigid, won't he? 138 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,880 And he'll appreciate it more. How's Alan? 139 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,560 He's fine, he's watching Countdown. 140 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,520 I rang Gillian. 141 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,920 I thought I told you not to. 142 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,720 I think she knows she overreacted. 143 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,400 I said don't ring her! 144 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,400 I told her you were upset and sorry, 145 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,920 and she says she thinks she's probably a bit hormonal. 146 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,480 I asked you not to interfere. 147 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,800 I was worried about her. 148 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,000 You were worried about her? 149 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,040 Both of you. I was worried about both of you. 150 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,960 I'm going to get changed. 151 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,840 Yeah, go on. Slink off. 152 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,720 What about something literary? 153 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,520 Oh, yes. 154 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:19,960 Like...? 155 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,920 Like Vita. Or Virginia. 156 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,000 Or...Aphra... 157 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,080 Who? Behn. 158 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,000 Isn't that a boy's name? 159 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,880 I want to call her Elsie, after my grandad's mother. 160 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,120 Elsie. 161 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,640 That is so old. So? 162 00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:38,920 She were a character were Alan's mother. 163 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,320 By God, she was. 164 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,200 Do you remember that time she hit you over t'head with a frying pan? 165 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,800 I've still got a mark to prove it. 166 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,280 Six-year-old. I were seeing stars for a fortnight. 167 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,960 You shouldn't have said that about her big knickers on t'washing line. 168 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,280 It were only an observation, it wasn't a criticism. 169 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,000 Right, Elsie then. 170 00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:00,320 No, not Elsie. And can you keep right out of it? 171 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,480 You don't even have an opinion. You left her. 172 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,720 I didn't leave her. 173 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,920 I just needed a break. 174 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,720 We're not calling her Elsie. 175 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,400 My mother were called Myra. 176 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,880 That's one you don't hear so much any more. 177 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,080 Surprise, surprise. 178 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,960 You're not helping, Grandad! 179 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,240 PHONE RINGS 180 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,520 Excuse me. Hello? 181 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,040 Hey, Popsicle. 'Tis I. 182 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,800 Your favourite son. 183 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,120 Lawrence! Where's the DVD of Reservoir Dogs? 184 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,280 And don't you go around telling people I left her. 185 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,720 Angus is coming round and Mum said we could watch it, 186 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,880 and I can't find it. Are you sure Caroline said...? 187 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,560 Yeah, do you want to talk to her? No. No, no. It's... 188 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,320 And you do not tell me I don't have an opinion! 189 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,160 Oh, I've got it! Got it, thanks. 190 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,080 No problem. Where are you? 191 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,440 I'm... I'm... I'm in Halifax. 192 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:47,920 Cool. Bye! 193 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,360 Oh, have we agreed on something? 194 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,000 Emily Jane. 195 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,920 It's what me grandad calls her. 196 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,880 Oh, that's good! That works. Emily Bronte. Emily Jane Bronte. 197 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,280 "I'll walk where my own nature would be leading." 198 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:05,760 Who are you again? 199 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,200 "It vexes me to choose another guide." 200 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,800 He's... I'm... I'm... 201 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,640 I'm Celia's son-in-law. 202 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,160 Oh, aye. 203 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,440 So, why did she ring you to come and baby-sit again? 204 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:23,280 I'm writing a novel. It's set on a farm, partly, here, 205 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,960 in West Yorkshire. I thought it would help if I could... 206 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,520 immerse myself. In things. 207 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,800 A bit. 208 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,800 So I thought I'd cook for everyone. 209 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,720 If that's...? 210 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,240 Cool. 211 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,560 Do you want to see it? 212 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,600 Course I want to see it! 213 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,640 Here. 214 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,520 And we couldn't decide whose surname to use, so we put both. 215 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:52,000 Only we put ours first, cos it's alphabetical. 216 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,800 So what was Harry and Maurice doing there? 217 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,800 They were round at their house when we called. 218 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,640 Emily Jane Greenwood-Wallace. 219 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,880 Well that's...a gobful. 220 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,960 For somebody who only weighs six pounds, three ounces. 221 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,200 I'm going to ring grandad and tell him. 222 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,720 He'll be pleased, that was his name for her. 223 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:14,000 Right, well, if you do, say hello to him...from me. 224 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,040 And, me and Ellie's seeing each other down Ripponden. 225 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,360 Tonight, for a drink. Is that right? 226 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,080 We've decided we ought to take things steady for a bit 227 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,680 and see what happens. 228 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,680 Take things steady. 229 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,040 Yeah. 230 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:35,160 OK, and who's looking after Her Ladyship? Grandma Buggins? 231 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,800 Well, I said I would. 232 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,880 Yeah, so... 233 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,440 Oh, text from Greg. 234 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:06,720 He says he's running on time 235 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,360 and he's looking forward to meeting us in the bar at 6.30. 236 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,840 When we were leaving, just before, my mum said this thing. 237 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,720 She said, "We've discussed it and Alan doesn't mind 238 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,920 "if you want to call him dad now we're married." 239 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,560 Is that not...? That's nice. 240 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,440 Isn't it? I don't know. I like Alan. 241 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,920 I like him a lot but he's not my dad. My dad's dead. 242 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,320 But he's still me dad. He'll always be me dad for all his faults. 243 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,480 Did you say that? 244 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,480 No. She wouldn't want to hear it. 245 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,680 Hello, ladies. Hello. 246 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,840 I've... We've got a reservation. 247 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,760 OK, name? 248 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,680 What you thinking? 249 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:19,520 I thought you'd had such a calm, uncomplicated life compared to me 250 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,520 with Kenneth. I'm sorry you haven't. 251 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:27,040 And I've embroiled you in it now. Is that what you're thinking? 252 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:31,440 No. No. I'm glad you can tell me things. 253 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,920 Somebody with a good heart like you 254 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,960 shouldn't have skeletons in their cupboard. 255 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,400 It does still bother me. 256 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:43,480 Aye, he were an alcoholic more or less, he were handy with his fists, 257 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,640 but he'd grown up in care. 258 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,320 So I imagine it weren't entirely his fault 259 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,360 that he turned out like he did. 260 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,360 Happen he'd have died anyway. 261 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,920 Happen. 262 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,120 Or had brain damage. 263 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,200 Happen she did him a favour. 264 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,880 If it was suicide. 265 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,640 Is there still more to it than you've said? 266 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,520 No. No. Only that. 267 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,680 Right, well. 268 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,240 If that's what the Coroner said. 269 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,560 DOORBELL RINGS 270 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,560 Oh, that'll be Angus. 271 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,000 Angus is here! 272 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,160 Let's live with what's on the table. 273 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:27,520 Wassu...?! 274 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,320 Which one are you again? 275 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,160 Lawrence. Who is it? 276 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,800 OK, Lawrence. Where's Daddy? 277 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,880 Can I help you? 278 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,320 Yes. I'm looking for John. 279 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,600 He's not here. 280 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,200 Well, where is he then? 281 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:41,560 Who wants to know? 282 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,400 I do. That's Judith. 283 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,160 Is it. 284 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,360 And you are...? I'm Caroline's mother. 285 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,120 Ah... 286 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,080 So you're her, are you? You're the whore. 287 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,320 Whoa...Granny. Angus! 288 00:14:55,360 --> 00:15:00,160 OK, look. I need to know where John is. 289 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,240 Well, bad luck. 290 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,800 I don't want a fight. 291 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,920 Well, you've probably come to the wrong place then. 292 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:11,480 I just want to know... You've got some bare-face cheek, coming here! 293 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,280 PHONE RINGS Ooh, is that me? 294 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,240 That's you. Have you any idea where he's likely to be? 295 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,760 Not the slightest. 296 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,480 Let's face it, you're more likely to know than any of us. 297 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,200 It's Raff. All right, can I speak to Caroline then? 298 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,880 No. You can't. Hello? 299 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,720 It's me, Grandad! We've been up to t'registry office in Halifax! 300 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,760 Is Caroline in? No. 301 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,560 Been where? Do you know where John is? 302 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,800 We've registered the baby. 303 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,800 Oh, aye? Sorry? 304 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,480 Oh, my God. What? 305 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,360 Wow. What? 306 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,520 And guess what we've called her? What? 307 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,640 You're Celia. He's Alan. And? 308 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,920 You're the couple that fell in love and got married. 309 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,720 So? No, it's just... 310 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,960 You can't call a baby that. 311 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,280 I think that's really, really, really amazing. 312 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,560 Do we look like we give a stuff about what you think? 313 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:55,720 You are joking? 314 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:56,840 What've they called it? 315 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,320 Yeah, no, I get that, but... 316 00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,920 Calamity Jane. 317 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,360 No, Grandad. Not... 318 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,920 They've never. 319 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,240 He's in Halifax. 320 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,680 Sorry? He rang. Earlier. My dad. 321 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,800 Said he's in Halifax. Oh, Emily Jane! 322 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,600 What's he doing in Halifax? 323 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,160 Dunno. This way. That's Granny. 324 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,520 Hi, Granny. That's Alan. 325 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,920 He's gone to see her. 326 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,200 Who? 327 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,240 Gillian. That's your daughter. 328 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,280 Has he? Have you got an address? 329 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,560 I think I need my ears syringed! You what? 330 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,160 What's Gillian's address? 331 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,640 What's he gone there for? 332 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,400 He's obsessed with her. 333 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,360 Oh, and me mum says to say "hello," Grandad. 334 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,200 I think she's sorry. 335 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:36,480 Grandad? 336 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,040 Hello. 337 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,440 Shall I sit here? 338 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,400 If you like. 339 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,960 Do you want a drink? 340 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,000 We've got ten minutes. 341 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,360 So... 342 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,080 Tell me some more about him. 343 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,600 I've told you everything there is to say. 344 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,680 Anyway, I thought you weren't that interested. 345 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,680 Can I have a gin and tonic? Thank you. 346 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,800 I am. I am interested. 347 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,000 You said you didn't need to get to know him. 348 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,560 No. But we're here now, so... 349 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,160 You look beautiful. 350 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,240 You are unfff...believable. You know that, don't you? 351 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,200 Kate. What you have to remember is that... 352 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,720 I was so thrilled, I was so delighted when you told me 353 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,560 you'd booked this place. OK, but... 354 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,560 I was so flattered because it was like for the first time, 355 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,440 you were happy to acknowledge outside the house 356 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:47,920 that I was your partner. 357 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:52,080 And then you go and book two separate rooms! 358 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,880 Mentally, I've left. 359 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,080 Mentally, I'm not even here. 360 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:58,000 Physically, I'm here because Greg's coming, and I'd like to see him. 361 00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,360 Beyond that... Oh, look. OK... 362 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,480 I put up with it at work arriving in separate cars, 363 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,200 because I understand... That's just a practical arrangement. 364 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,880 You're the boss, you're high profile, you need to be discreet. 365 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,520 But this! And you know what, Caroline, 366 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,280 they all know. You've not fooled anyone, they all know. 367 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,760 And it just makes us look sad, actually. 368 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,680 I'm not trying to fool anyone. 369 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:27,280 It makes us look embarrassed and old-fashioned and ridiculous. 370 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,760 You should've said something when we checked in if you weren't happy. 371 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,120 I was too stunned, I was too, "Did I just hear that?" 372 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,000 Look. All right. This isn't easy for me. 373 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,560 I was going to book a double room when I rang up, and then... 374 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:41,640 What? 375 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,320 I couldn't. 376 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,440 Why not? Why not? 377 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,480 Do you think we're the first gay couple who've ever stayed here? 378 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:52,840 Sh. 379 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,040 Anyway, I popped in at reception earlier and I said, 380 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,680 "Actually me and my girlfriend, the woman I sleep with, 381 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,800 "the woman I have sex with, would like a double room, please, 382 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,520 "instead of these two singles." 383 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,760 Did you? No. I was tempted, 384 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:05,960 but then I thought sod it. 385 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,440 You see, for me, if I'd been booking this, 386 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,960 the whole point would've been that I got to spend 387 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,040 two whole days and nights in the same room as you. 388 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,560 That would've been the single biggest thing that made me 389 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,160 want to book it in the first place. 390 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,400 But obviously for you that wasn't a thing, so... 391 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,800 We can still sleep together. 392 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,160 Sneaking around like a couple of sad idiots 393 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,400 in a bedroom farce from the 1970s? 394 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,880 No, thanks. 395 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,040 Look. I'm still getting used to this. 396 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,360 To what? Caroline. It's 2013. You're 46. 397 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,840 You know in Iran they still stone women to death for having 398 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:40,160 any sort of...genital... 399 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,200 sexual contact. 400 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,760 This is Yorkshire. 401 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,280 You take my point. Not really. 402 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,800 Sometimes I still feel a bit weird about it, that's all. 403 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,760 It's not personal, it's not about you, it's about me. And suddenly, 404 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,840 on the phone when I was booking, I panicked. 405 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,760 And I knew you'd be cross, but I didn't know what to do about it. 406 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,680 Caroline, you're a doctor of philosophy. You run a huge school. 407 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,720 You have the welfare of 857 children in your hands on a daily basis. 408 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:02,920 You don't panic! 409 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,920 I panicked! 410 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,800 I panicked. 411 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,800 I was talking to a testosterone stacked 18-year-old... 412 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,480 ..jock who couldn't spell "Elliot!" 413 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,560 Well, the L's and the T's aren't always obvious. 414 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,800 And I lost my bottle! 415 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,040 Why? 416 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,440 Cos, because... 417 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,640 Because I'm me. 418 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,240 I'm not falling for that, Caroline. Not any more. 419 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,520 You've blown it. 420 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,440 Don't say that, please. Don't say that! 421 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,880 Greg! Kate! How are you? 422 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,880 I'm good, I'm great, I'm really well. Look at you! 423 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:50,920 You look fantastic. 424 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,600 Yeah, I feel fantastic! And the good news is... Hi. 425 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,360 ..is I've checked in, I've booked a room, 426 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,160 so I can join you for dinner, if that's...? 427 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,680 Yeah! Wow. That's great! What're you drinking? 428 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,880 Are you drinking? 429 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,800 I am drinking! 430 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:06,840 Cos you stopped! 431 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,120 So tell us about this novel, then. 432 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,520 Oh, the novel. Well, it's barely started. 433 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,320 It's at a very preliminary stage. 434 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,760 What's the plot? 435 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,720 Well, essentially, 436 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,480 it's a sort of... Well, it's a family saga. 437 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,720 I suppose, potentially. 438 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,920 OK, and what happens? 439 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,320 Well... Who's in it besides me? 440 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:33,000 Well, when I said it was you... Are you in it? 441 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,920 I didn't mean literally you, I meant more... 442 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,480 Am I in it? ..more sort of you were 443 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,080 a sort of inspiration, as it were. 444 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,640 If that doesn't sound too... 445 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:43,920 Wanky. Yeah. 446 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,440 Does a bit. Good word. 447 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,120 Am I your muse? 448 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,920 Well, at the risk of sounding wanky again... 449 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:56,920 Wow. I've never been anybody's muse before. Not that I'm aware of. 450 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,400 There's a surprise. 451 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:02,200 Sod off! Oops! Sorry, Calamity. 452 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,320 That's going to stick now thanks to deaf Grandad. 453 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,600 I like it. I wish they'd called me that. 454 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,160 It sounds like someone who can kick ass. 455 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,360 KNOCKING ON DOOR 456 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,960 "Whah, Calam! 457 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,400 "That sounds like the door." 458 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,560 Sorry. 459 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,000 Oh, hello. 460 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,280 I overreacted. 461 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,800 Calamity Jane. They've been to the Registry Office. 462 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,480 You are kidding. 463 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,360 Half kidding. Emily Jane. 464 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:48,280 I am sorry. 465 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:55,040 But I'm sticking with Calamity. Because..it's got a certain... 466 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,640 je ne sais quoi. 467 00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:02,000 It was a long time ago, and it must've been horrible, 468 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,480 and you had it to deal with, and I'm sorry. 469 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,200 Has Uncle Robbie had his tea? 470 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:16,600 Robbie's here. 471 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,760 Hello. Hello. 472 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,480 Sit down. I'll get you a plate. 473 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:24,520 Right, I'm off. 474 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:33,480 John's here. He's staying over. 475 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,920 He's doing some research. 476 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,440 He's writing a novel. 477 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,600 Right. 478 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:44,200 I've had another bust-up wi' me dad cos o' yesterday. 479 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,640 How? 480 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,240 Because I had a go at Celia, didn't I? 481 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:49,840 For opening her trap to you. 482 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,160 Sorry. 483 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,000 How's Caroline? 484 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,840 She's... She's... I don't know. 485 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,000 She still...? 486 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,880 I don't have a huge amount to do with her. 487 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,240 So what's it about then, this novel? 488 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:24,960 Josh Hepworth. Do you remember him? You do. He fancied you. Brown hair. 489 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:30,040 Five foot ten. Scarf, acne. Brogues, he always wore brogues. 490 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,360 He lived in the same house as PJ in second year. 491 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,000 We went to a party there once. Fancy dress. 492 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,520 Who did we go as? 493 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,040 Shit, I don't remember. Lizzie drank too much. 494 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,080 Surely not. 495 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:45,120 And she puked this spectacular tidal wave of multicoloured vomit 496 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,400 into a doorway at Woolworths! This is ringing a bell. 497 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,440 Anyway, I'm in Oslo and I bump into Josh Hepworth! 498 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,160 How mad is that? Yeah, he works there. In Oslo! 499 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,040 He's working for Ericsson. I was just on holiday... 500 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,040 Let it go. 501 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,360 I would, only it sickens me. 502 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,920 Don't let it. 503 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,560 Maybe Judith wasn't the first. 504 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,800 If he can insinuate himself so readily into women's beds, 505 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,280 what does that mean? 506 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,720 Has he been mucking about behind Caroline's back for years? 507 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,640 I know she's wondered. 508 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,840 Aye, well, she's shot of him now, isn't she? 509 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,080 Anyway, look on the bright side. 510 00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:46,960 He'll have met his match with our Gillian. One way or another. 511 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,320 Utter, utter rubbish. I can't watch television. 512 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,960 Not with anything police-related. 513 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:01,160 I'm just chucking a beer can at t'telly. I'm going, "What trash!" 514 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,640 "Do your research, would it kill you?" 515 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,680 I'm going, "Come and talk to me! 516 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,600 "I'll tell you how we investigate a murder." 517 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:12,840 Not Inspector Doo-dah in his wacky car with Sergeant Pillock side-kick. 518 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:17,960 There's a team, a whole team of dedicated, professional, 519 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,880 highly-trained officers. 520 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:23,560 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 521 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,960 I could tell you some stories. 522 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,440 I could tell you what to put in your book. 523 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:29,600 What's it about again? 524 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:30,920 KNOCKING ON DOOR 525 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,280 Who the 'ell's that? 526 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,760 Where's the fire? Sorry? 527 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,280 Is someone's arse on fire? Banging like that. 528 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,640 Do you need a bucket o' water? Eh? A bucket o' sand? 529 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,000 Are you Gillian? 530 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,600 I might be. I'm looking for John. Is he here? 531 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,440 And you are? Judith. 532 00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,120 Is that summat to do wi' you? 533 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:57,000 Are you? Well, well, well. 534 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,040 Well, well, well. What do you want? 535 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,680 Him. I know he's here. 536 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,000 You bastard! 537 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,200 Sorry? Hang on, what? 538 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,360 What's this? This was my idea. 539 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,480 What was? 540 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,480 To write a novel about two old people in love! 541 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,160 It was not! We discussed it, certainly, but it was me who... 542 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,240 And I said, "That'd make a great story!" 543 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,520 It must've been obvious to you what my intention was. 544 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:26,640 Well, I could say that! 545 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,720 I could say it must've been obvious to you what my intention was 546 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,200 when I said, "That'd make a great story" 547 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:33,400 No. 548 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:37,280 You were talking about it as a thing that had happened, was happening, 549 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,760 and I was the one saying, "That'd make a great novel". 550 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,040 That's really not... You're a plagiarist. 551 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:46,440 No. You've even copied ideas I talked about! 552 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,560 Writing it from Bathsheba Everdene's point of view. 553 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,800 That was, that was, that was entirely my idea. 554 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,960 No. I put the idea in your head. 555 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,040 This is a fantasy, you've misremembered. 556 00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,560 No. You'd probably had a drink. 557 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:00,880 You'd definitely had a drink! 558 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,720 Judith. It's my story. This is my family! 559 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,280 You don't even know these people! 560 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,800 So bloody what? Shakespeare didn't know Richard III! 561 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,960 It didn't stop him writing a shitty play about him! 562 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,120 I would not steal someone else's idea. 563 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:14,560 Let me explain to you the difference between observing something 564 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,480 and making the decision to write about it. 565 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,480 I understand what you're saying... 566 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,320 Why don't you both calm down? 567 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:24,920 There's a baby trying to sleep here. This is Robbie. 568 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,120 Is it? God. 569 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:32,480 Wow! What a fascinating menage. 570 00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:36,280 What's that supposed to mean? 571 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,840 They've slept together. These two. Well, I'm saying that. 572 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,880 I've only got his word for it, so obviously it may be just another 573 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,080 of his little wish-fulfilment fantasies. 574 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,000 Who knows? Sorry. 575 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,320 That's, that's just not true. 576 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,080 Really? So you made that up too? 577 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,680 How dare you. 578 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,200 No. No. I didn't make anything up. 579 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,120 You told her that I'd slept with you? No! I didn't. She's lying! 580 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,280 I'm not lying, that's what he told me. 581 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,600 You may have got the wrong end of the stick...then. 582 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,840 So you made that up just like you're saying this tripe was your idea 583 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,280 when it wasn't! 584 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,520 Have you slept together? No. 585 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,000 What did he tell you? 586 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,280 Nothing! I didn't tell her anything. 587 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,120 Describe to me the language he used. 588 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,600 Language? 589 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,320 Well...he was here, obviously. 590 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,600 Drunk. Upset. Angry, 591 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,400 cos he'd just found out that Caroline'd been shopping 592 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,360 round the corner, and... 593 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,560 Celia was here. She was upset too. cos he was mouthing off. 594 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:46,640 And Alan. And you were here. And it was Caroline's birthday! 595 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,360 I'd cut an artery open with a broken bottle. 596 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:56,480 It was your birthday too. They have the same birthday. 597 00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:00,600 Well, it was that night he claimed it happened. 598 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:04,200 Although he said he was so pissed the next day 599 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,440 he barely remember what happened. 600 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:10,680 And like I say, he's probably making it up. 601 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:13,480 She's making it up. 602 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,720 How can she be making it up? She wasn't here. 603 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,440 Yes, but we didn't, we didn't... 604 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,240 All right! We did. 605 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,800 We did, and so what? 606 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,240 You're clearly no good for her, so why don't you just clear off? 607 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,600 Huh? 608 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,080 You've made her life a living hell in the past, 609 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,760 trying to get her arrested when she was at her most vulnerable. 610 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,440 Yes! I know all about it! 611 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:45,000 And now you prey on her because you know how generous and good 612 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,680 and kind-hearted she is Prey on her? 613 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:52,040 Yeah, well, get lost! She doesn't need you, she doesn't want you. 614 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,920 She rang me to come over and help 615 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,480 because she was at the end of her tether with everything. 616 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,120 With all of you, and especially with you. 617 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,760 Is this true? 618 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,240 Some of it. 619 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,600 Partially. 620 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,360 After yesterday. 621 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,040 The sleeping with bit? 622 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:31,720 Shit. Shit! Oh, shit. 623 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,560 MUSIC: "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Stealer's Wheel 624 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,400 What the hell's going on? 625 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:50,520 Granny, get your gun! He's doused me in petrol 626 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:54,120 and he's cut my ear clean off and now he's going to set alight to me! 627 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:59,080 What's all this sticky, mucky mess? Ahh! You shot me, Granny. 628 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:02,200 Don't you Granny me, you monkey! Just look at this mess! 629 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,000 Are you drunk? 630 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,760 Why's there two of you, Granny? 631 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:11,160 What've you been drinking? How much've you had? 632 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,560 It is not funny! 633 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,480 Celia? It's William. He's in outpatients. 634 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,200 Outpatients? 635 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:24,080 Hilarious! He spent four days in intensive care! 636 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,240 That is so not hilarious! 637 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:32,440 Listen, gosh, we should talk about the baby, the baby plan. 638 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:36,960 I just need to find the bathroom, and then you can tell me 639 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,000 more about what you have in mind. 640 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,640 Shan't be a tick. 641 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,680 Well, I don't think I've ever met anyone who's quite so fond 642 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,240 of the sound of their own voice. 643 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,000 Right, well, I'm going to bed. 644 00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:02,480 Because I can't stand any more of this bloke's self-obsessed drivel. 645 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:03,920 OK. 646 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,280 I'm sure neither of you'll mind whether I'm here or not. 647 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:14,440 Thought not. Good night then. 648 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,600 Good night. 649 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,240 I'm sorry we've been so long. 650 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,480 We had to wait at the police station to report it. 651 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,960 What happened? Just these two idiots. 652 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,480 Yeah. You sit down there. 653 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,800 I'll make us all a nice cup of tea. 654 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,440 Where's Starsky and Hutch? 655 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,760 In bed. Fast asleep. 656 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,040 I started trying to tidy t'kitchen, 657 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,520 but I really didn't know where things went. 658 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:01,880 How are you feeling, lad? 659 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,680 I left work. I walked out. 660 00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:13,480 Because I couldn't stand it any more. 661 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,320 I get talked to like crap by the chef and one of the waiters, 662 00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:22,680 they're both jerks, they both think they're special, and the truth is 663 00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:26,760 they haven't got one brain cell to rub together between 'em. 664 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:30,720 So I walked out. I didn't want to come home. 665 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,200 So I went into town. 666 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:38,080 I was going to go to this club 667 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,720 where some of 'em from school go. 668 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,480 There's this girl I like. 669 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,800 Grace, she goes there. 670 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:51,680 So I was getting some money out of the cash point... 671 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:58,000 ..and there's two of them and this lad goes, 672 00:34:58,040 --> 00:34:59,440 "Lend us 50p." 673 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,880 And I was stupid, 674 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,640 I took my wallet out 675 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,240 and they smacked me in the head, they got me on the floor, 676 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,120 and they kicked me... 677 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:14,160 where they shouldn't, then they went through my pockets. 678 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:17,800 I... 679 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:26,080 I couldn't move I was in so much pain and I couldn't stop them... 680 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:32,080 And they were laughing, and calling me stupid. 681 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,680 Calling me names. 682 00:35:34,720 --> 00:35:36,800 Could you remember what they looked like 683 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,600 when you spoke to the police? 684 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,000 Yeah. 685 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:42,720 Good. 686 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,680 Me mum'll go mad, she'll go, 687 00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:51,080 "Trust you not to be able to hold down a job". 688 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,440 Well, I don't know your mum as well as you do, 689 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,120 but I can't imagine she will. 690 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,560 I couldn't stand it. They made me feel like a freak. 691 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:07,720 Like I was the odd one out. I always feel like the odd one out. 692 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,000 You won't. 693 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,360 First time I met you, I remember thinking, 694 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,440 "What a smashing young fella". 695 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,200 Up at farm. 696 00:36:18,240 --> 00:36:20,560 Me and Celia's little engagement party. 697 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,800 You shook my hand, and I thought, "What a fine young man". 698 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,560 I'll tell you something I've learned over the years, 699 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:33,520 and it's taken me a long time, but I've just about got it sussed now. 700 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,600 Life's all about confidence. 701 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:42,160 And the only way you gain confidence is by putting yourself 702 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,760 into situations where you do feel a little bit out of your depth. 703 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,360 Like you did, with this job. 704 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,840 Where you do feel uncomfortable, where you do have to deal 705 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,960 with people who you might not naturally be drawn to. 706 00:36:56,080 --> 00:37:01,320 And I really admire you for doing that. For trying. 707 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:05,200 And the thing to do next, is to dust yourself down 708 00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:08,600 and get right back in there and try something else. 709 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,240 cos you can only get stronger. 710 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:14,120 And you might feel like the odd one out now, but you won't. 711 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,480 You're going places. They aren't. 712 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,040 I only wish our Raff were going places with you. 713 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:38,680 I got your text. 714 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,080 Are you joining me? Or are you waiting for Greg? 715 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,400 What time's he leaving? 716 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,320 I don't know. 717 00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:00,120 I came back downstairs last night to try and find you, 718 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,200 but you weren't here. 719 00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:04,080 You weren't in here, you weren't in the bar 720 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,600 and you weren't in your bedroom. 721 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,120 I knocked. Twice. 722 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,640 I went back half an hour later. 723 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:14,720 He invited me up to his room. For a nightcap. 724 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,200 Oh, you've made a start? 725 00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:19,760 No. We just talked. 726 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:31,240 All right. Look. I'm sorry, I am sorry. I was a coward. 727 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,440 I won't be again. But I do have to say, for me, 728 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,760 if we are going to be parents, this bloke is the wrong person. 729 00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,120 He's perfect from my point of view. 730 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,720 I couldn't go through with it, not with him. He's... 731 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,120 He's a jerk. 732 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,720 He's one of my oldest friends. 733 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,760 Whatever impression you got last night, he is not a jerk. 734 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,680 I think I'm going to have to give up on the idea 735 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,360 of buying John out of the house. 736 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,440 I think it's unrealistic. 737 00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:15,520 It'd just be a burden. 738 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,320 Right. 739 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,640 Would you like any tea or coffee? 740 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,680 Neither, yet, thanks. I'm waiting for someone else. 741 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,080 I want to get pregnant, I want to have a child, 742 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:28,440 I want to get on with it. 743 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,840 Yeah, all right, fine. But... 744 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:35,040 I don't need your blessing. Not any more. Not after yesterday. 745 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,040 And what you just said, about the house. 746 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,200 You were doing it for all the wrong reasons anyway. 747 00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:42,960 You don't want what's best for me, you never did. That's not true. 748 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,720 You want what's best for you all the time. 749 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,080 I worry about how upset you'd be if it doesn't happen... 750 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,400 And I don't think you'll change, Caroline, you're... 751 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:51,400 ..or if you got pregnant and then lost it again. 752 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:55,240 You're too old to change. I think it'll always be about you. 753 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:56,880 That's not true. 754 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,400 Don't worry about my bill. I'll pay for myself. 755 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:04,920 Are you dumping me? 756 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:08,400 No. I don't think so. 757 00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,120 I don't think anything ever really started. Did it? 758 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,480 A couple of embarrassed fumbles. 759 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,080 It's just been a bit of an odd mess really, hasn't it? 760 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:30,440 Which is a shame. Because I would've done absolutely anything for you. 761 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:39,560 We didn't do anything last night but that is still the plan. 762 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,120 We're both going to stay here tonight. 763 00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:43,520 No, look. This was meant to be... 764 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,360 Oh, I know what it was meant to be, Caroline. 765 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,880 It was meant to be you and me. It was meant to be my birthday. 766 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,960 I was so happy when we got here. 767 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,280 Yesterday. 768 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,840 But you blew it. 769 00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:59,480 You blew it before Greg even turned up, so don't blame him. 770 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,920 This is hard for me. 771 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:07,000 Yeah, well grow up. You think it's easy for anyone? 772 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,680 Only don't bother, don't grow up. Not on my account. 773 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,720 I made some coffee. 774 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:08,040 Well done. Where's your girlfriend? Her car's still outside. 775 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,360 She's not my girlfriend. Yeah, where is she? 776 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,960 I've got no idea. There's somebody crashed out in my bed. 777 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,600 She polished off them other two bottles of wine you bought 778 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,200 in less time than it takes me to bend over and tie one shoe lace, 779 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:22,240 and my emergency supply of medicinal brandy 780 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,200 seems to have disappeared as if by magic as well. 781 00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:27,440 She really is the real McCoy. I'm afraid. 782 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,800 She doesn't just languish in the amateur division 783 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:34,120 like you and me, you mean? I haven't a bloody clue whose that car is. 784 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:38,800 She's probably nicked it. You all right, darling? How was your night? 785 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,280 Nice. 786 00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,920 They're taking it steady. I heard. 787 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,640 Shit, what've you done to your face? 788 00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:52,240 Your Uncle Robbie's fallen out wi' me again. 789 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:53,800 Why? 790 00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:59,600 He... Well, he's got wrong end o' t'stick. Yet again, so... 791 00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:00,840 What about this time? 792 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,200 It's all too ridiculous. 793 00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,120 Did he do that? 794 00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,400 PHONE RINGS 795 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,880 What fresh hell is this? 796 00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:16,040 Hello. 797 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:21,520 Harry! No, he's in Harrogate. 798 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,240 Oh, no... 799 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:36,960 You sure you don't want any bacon and eggs, boys? 800 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,520 Sausages, black pudding, fried bread. 801 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:40,800 Cooked in lard! 802 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,640 Aye, with custard on top! 803 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:43,800 Shut up. 804 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,080 You shouldn't have cleaned the kitchen, Gran. 805 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,080 You should've left it and made them do it. 806 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,560 Well, I was tempted. 807 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,400 Idiots. Shut up, Beano Boy. 808 00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:55,520 PHONE RINGS That's you. 809 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,080 Hello? 810 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:04,920 Dad? It's me. Gillian. Listen. I'm sorry. 811 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:09,360 I'm sorry I spoke to Celia like I did. Can I...? 812 00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:11,760 Can I talk to her? 813 00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,160 It's our Gillian. She wants to say sorry. 814 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:18,560 Hello? 815 00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:21,280 Celia. Listen. I'm sorry. 816 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:25,000 You didn't know I knew Robbie then, and I overreacted. 817 00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:26,920 And I'm sorry. 818 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:31,080 Well, that's all right, love, I... 819 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,400 Is me dad all right? Yeah, he's fine, love. 820 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:36,480 OK. Look. Something's happened. 821 00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,400 I need you to tell him something. 822 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,200 And he might be upset. 823 00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:46,200 I'd tell him myself, but it might be best coming from you. 824 00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:49,680 Cos you're with him. 825 00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:52,280 And he loves you. 826 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,400 What time are you supposed to be there? 827 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,480 9:30. That's going to look good, isn't it? 828 00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,960 The head teacher's son and his stupid friend, 829 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,640 the two plonkers that don't turn up. 830 00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,720 Right, upstairs, pair of you, come on, get changed, I'll drive you in. 831 00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,400 Yes, love. I will. 832 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:08,080 Ta-ta. 833 00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:12,160 They're supposed to be at a rugby match. 834 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,040 Has summat happened? 835 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:24,440 Sit down. 836 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,920 Maurice is dead. 837 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:44,560 A neighbour found him at the bottom of his stairs just this morning. 838 00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,480 They think a stroke. 839 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,640 Are you all right? 840 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,880 He'd have known nothing about it if it was a stroke. 841 00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:05,840 Shall I make some fresh tea? 842 00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,240 In a minute. 843 00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,520 A bit of sugar in it. 844 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,080 Aye. 845 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,600 I am sorry. 846 00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:29,600 Aye. Aye. 847 00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,800 He were a nice man. 848 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:50,320 Kind. Do anything for anybody. 849 00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:52,000 Yeah. 850 00:46:54,520 --> 00:47:00,200 I've known him all my life. He's always been there. Uncle Maurice. 851 00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,960 Me dad's known him since they were tiny. 852 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,720 They were in infants together at t'Board Knackers. 853 00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:09,960 Sorry? 854 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,160 There was the National School and The Board School. 855 00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:16,000 Not boarding school, just... No. 856 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,080 The Board School. 857 00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:22,680 So you were either a Nashbog, or a Board Knacker. 858 00:47:22,720 --> 00:47:28,480 Me dad and Maurice were Board Knackers. Celia was a Nashbog. 859 00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,480 But Maurice and me dad... 860 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:33,760 Aww. 861 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:39,680 In their little shorts. During t'war. 862 00:47:39,720 --> 00:47:41,400 Aww. 863 00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:47,400 Bless him, Maurice. 864 00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:54,960 I better ring back, see if me dad's all right. 865 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:56,000 Yeah. 866 00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:58,440 Damn. 867 00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,080 What? 868 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:07,800 Death. Dying. It's a bitch. 869 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,440 Fancy, him going before me. 870 00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,320 He were right as rain last time I saw him. 871 00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,720 Who'd have thought? 872 00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:35,640 Who would've thought? 873 00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:16,680 Ironic thing is, we've had a bit of good news since. 874 00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,800 You know that bungalow we went to see? 875 00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:21,800 When I said we were just looking? 876 00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:25,440 Well, we put in an offer. 877 00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:29,600 And the estate agent rang just before lunch to say 878 00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:32,200 the people selling it've said yes. 879 00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:37,480 Right. Gosh. 880 00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:41,560 Well, that's... 881 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:46,440 I know you wanted us to put money in here, but realistically... 882 00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:47,560 No, it's fine, I don't. 883 00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:50,960 It's... I should never have asked, it was... 884 00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:56,480 I just didn't want to face up to it, Mum, 885 00:49:56,520 --> 00:50:02,400 but I have to. I'm going to have to let it go. 886 00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,520 What about Kate putting money in? 887 00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:08,000 Is that not...? No, that's... 888 00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:10,800 I've blown it. How? 889 00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:14,240 I'm just no...good at things. 890 00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:17,640 Sometimes. 891 00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:30,880 Maurice were a kind, good man, 892 00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:34,840 in his private life, and in his public life as a local councillor. 893 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:42,920 For over 30 years he served the people of Ripponden. 894 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:47,720 And he always did it with enthusiasm, 895 00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:52,280 integrity and a good heart. 896 00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,920 He always had time for people. 897 00:50:56,960 --> 00:51:00,640 Anyone and everyone, young and old. 898 00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:07,280 My only regret with Maurice, on a personal note, 899 00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:11,760 is I didn't ask him to be my best man 900 00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:14,440 when Celia and I got married. 901 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:21,040 I couldn't choose between him and Harry, 902 00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:24,640 and I still don't know that I could choose between 'em even now. 903 00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:30,000 Even if I still had t'choice. 904 00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:34,480 But the point is... 905 00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:40,920 I don't have t'choice. And for that, I'm sorry. 906 00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,480 So very deeply sorry. 907 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:57,400 Bless you, Maurice, you were one of life's treasures. 908 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,680 It's been a week. Did... did... Did you...? 909 00:52:33,720 --> 00:52:36,320 Yes. We did. 910 00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,360 Wow. 911 00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:40,960 Well. 912 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:43,280 Mm. So... 913 00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:48,200 I've finished what I came into this room to do, and so now... 914 00:52:48,240 --> 00:52:50,040 I'm leaving it. 915 00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:53,400 Right. 916 00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:05,000 What were John doing at our house? 917 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:11,000 He still fancies me. Nothing happened. 918 00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:13,720 I heard what he had to say, weighed things up, 919 00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,400 and then I sent him packing. 920 00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,400 Did Judith turn up? 921 00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:20,160 She did! Yes. 922 00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:22,720 What was all that about? 923 00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:25,840 They're both reckoning to write a novel. About you two. 924 00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,120 I know. She reckoned it was her idea, 925 00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:29,640 he reckoned it was his. 926 00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,520 I was always under the impression it was our idea. 927 00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:34,880 Dozy buggers. 928 00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:40,440 Y'all right, 'Arry lad? 929 00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:46,200 Eh? Oh, aye, yeah. Just...you know. 930 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:56,120 I'm wondering if we should get married again. 931 00:53:56,160 --> 00:54:00,880 Properly. Proper big do, no expense spared. Invite everybody. 932 00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,080 Everybody we've ever heard of. 933 00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:07,240 Would you like to be my best man? Harry? If we did? 934 00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:09,400 I don't know. It might feel a bit... 935 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,480 Not right now. 936 00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,320 Shuddup, y'nitwit! Say yes! 937 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:18,000 Oh, assuming I'm invited. 938 00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:22,720 I assume I come under the umbrella of "everybody you've ever heard of". 939 00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:25,360 I'll do it, Grandad. I'll be yer best man. 940 00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:28,680 Ey, bugger off, you! If anybody's doing it, it'll be me. 941 00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:32,400 In honour of Maurice. 942 00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:34,440 Maurice. 943 00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,960 Well, what do you reckon? Will you marry me? 944 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,600 Again? 945 00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:45,440 Oh, go on, then! 946 00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:48,360 Yay! 947 00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:49,720 Yes! 948 00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:51,000 Get a room! 949 00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:56,920 Can I go and live with my dad? 950 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,760 I really don't think that's a good idea. 951 00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,600 Robbie's got this new girlfriend. 952 00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:02,680 Hello. I'm Cheryl. How'd you do? 953 00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:04,400 She's moving in with him apparently. 954 00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:05,920 How are the wedding plans going? 955 00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,040 He's gone and invited Ted, his brother. 956 00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:10,120 It's her sister. Has Celia got a sister? 957 00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:11,720 Alan Buttershaw! Be honest. 958 00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:13,880 You haven't actually sold your house? 959 00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:14,920 That's t'plan. 960 00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:16,920 I've offered to organise the wedding for them 961 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:18,040 and I said you'd help me. 962 00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:20,760 Mum. Dad went out. Can you come and get me? 963 00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:24,080 I am so deep in the doghouse it won't ever be worth trying to get out. 964 00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:25,960 Lawrence?! Where is Lawrence? 965 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,360 I never told anyone this. 966 00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:29,440 Don't tell me something you're going to regret. 967 00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,360 I want to tell you. OK... 968 00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:47,840 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd