1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:05,640 So you're her, are you? You're the whore. "Emily Jane Greenwood-Wallace". 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:09,720 Well that's a gob-full, for someone who only weighs 6lbs 3oz. 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,120 You can't call a baby that! 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,280 What've they called it? 5 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:14,960 Calamity Jane. 6 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,760 I was so delighted when you told me you'd booked this place. 7 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,040 And then you go and book two separate rooms. 8 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:23,200 That bungalow we went to see when I said we were just looking... 9 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,120 We've put in an offer. 10 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,320 Maurice is dead. 11 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,080 Greg! Kate! 12 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,880 Have you slept together? (BOTH) No! 13 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,040 Are you dumping me? 14 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,720 I don't think anything ever really started, did it? 15 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,080 Will you marry me? Again? 16 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,120 Go on, then. 17 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,040 Yeah! Yes! 18 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:51,200 VIOLIN MUSIC 19 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,560 BIRDSONG 20 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,920 Are you absolutely sure you need all this stuff? Yes. 21 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:05,600 You'll only have it all to cart back again at the end of term. And? 22 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:06,680 Are you nearly ready? 23 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,240 Yeah! I've just got one more bag upstairs. 24 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,160 Nip round and tell Granny William's going. 25 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,000 Have you had the divorce papers in the post? 26 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,240 Yes. Have you signed them? 27 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,800 Yes. 28 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,920 Did you send them back by registered post? 29 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,320 I sent them back. 30 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,480 By registered post? 31 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,200 It said specifically to return them by registered post. 32 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,720 Oh for f...! I have saved you thousands of pounds in lawyers' fees 33 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,440 by organising this online. 34 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,880 The very least you could do is... 35 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,000 Got it! 36 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,800 They're going! Ey up, Alan! They're going! 37 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,160 Ring me when you get there. 38 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,720 Only if you want to, only if you're not busy. Or drop me a text. 39 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,880 I'll ring you. I wish I could come with you. 40 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,840 You've got a school to run! 41 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,240 I am proud of you. 42 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,520 I'm proud of you. 43 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,040 WAY-HEY! Finally, we get rid of him! 44 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,880 Why does he exist? Beano boy. Yeah, special needs. 45 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,120 Stop it. 46 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,720 The concert party's arrived! Just in time! 47 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,160 How long does it take to drive to Oxford? 48 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,840 Three or four hours, I would think. 49 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,760 Nah! Foot down, two-and-a-half. 50 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:24,840 Please drive properly. 51 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,240 Good luck, lad! Work hard. Enjoy yourself. 52 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,480 Thanks, Grandad. 53 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,120 See ya, Gran. 54 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,520 Aww! Here, get your washing done regularly. 55 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,280 Girls like boys with clean underwear, 56 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,360 don't let anyone tell you different. 57 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,240 Do I get a twencer, Gran? 58 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,360 Yeah! When you get in at Oxford. 59 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,360 ENGINE STARTS 60 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,880 Bye! Bye! 61 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,080 I need a poo. 62 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,040 Ooh! That egg'll be boiling. 63 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,680 You all right, love? 64 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,640 Yeah. 65 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,440 I was, um... 66 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,680 Big day. 67 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,680 Me and Alan are off over to Ripponden today. 68 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,800 We said we'd help out with the baby. 69 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,760 Still back and forth. 70 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,240 It's a shame that bungalow fell through. 71 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,520 How're the wedding plans going? 72 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,040 Oh, we never seem to get any closer. 73 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,640 Why? 74 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:49,680 Well, for one reason, he's gone and invited Ted. His brother. 75 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,160 I didn't know Alan had a brother. 76 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,720 Yeah. Ted. He was two years above us. 77 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,480 Right. 78 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,440 So, what's wrong with Ted coming? 79 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,800 He's in New Zealand. 80 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,920 He's got five kids and they're all married 81 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,240 and they've got 13 grandchildren between them, 82 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,160 and, God knows why, but, 83 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:12,120 because they've never met Alan, they all want to come over. 84 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,400 Oh, gosh. So...? 85 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,560 Well, we weren't planning on having that big a venue, really. 86 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,240 But now it's all become a logistical nightmare. 87 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,840 How? 88 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,120 Oh, well, it has. 89 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,240 How? 90 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,160 One of them's a vegetarian. 91 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:33,360 Well, that's not insurmountable, is it, as problems go? 92 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,000 Oh, it's all... "where are they staying?" 93 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,200 and God knows what, and "will they all get a flight at the same time?" 94 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,680 Right. 95 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,480 You see, this is why we just wanted to do it all on the quiet. 96 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,960 Well, you did. And then you decided to do this. 97 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,280 Have y'had any more inquiries? 98 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,560 No, not this week. 99 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,720 She's done, can you take her? I've not brushed my teeth. 100 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,240 I'm making you a sandwich. 101 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,560 Yeah, but she needs to get her wind up. 102 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,400 Ugh! Have you not done her nappy? 103 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,520 Yeah. She hasn't...? 104 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,560 I think she has. 105 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,400 Is there any tea left in that pot? 106 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,160 Yeah, probably, if you squeeze it! 107 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,280 Mum, can you take Calamity? She needs burping. 108 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,640 You're going to be late. 109 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:46,720 Yeah, I do know! 110 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,720 You don't want to be missing the bus, not this morning. 111 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,680 I can't drive you, I'm taking hogs to t'livestock mar... 112 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,440 Has she...? 113 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:58,760 Yeah, sorry. 114 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,000 Calamity, is there no end to your shining wealth of talents? 115 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,440 Ey, Mum. What? 116 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:12,080 It's been a month. It's a month today since Ellie moved in. 117 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,560 You said you'd make a decision. 118 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,440 Yeah. 119 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:17,800 So? 120 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,680 Yeah. 121 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,640 Yeah. As long Yvonne doesn't stop slinging me the cash every week 122 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,720 for her housekeeping. 123 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,640 So you're happy. 124 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,400 Well, happy's pushing it, but, yeah. 125 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,480 As long as she keeps pulling her weight. She will. 126 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,040 Is she happy? With everything? 127 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,840 She'd rather be here than with her mother. 128 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,960 Oh, and we won't be in for us teas tonight, 129 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,360 me, Ellie and Calamity. 130 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,800 Robbie's invited us down to his. 131 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,440 Cheryl's cooking. 132 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,760 Right. Is she? 133 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,200 She's moving in with him, apparently. 134 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,480 Right. 135 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,920 KNOCKING 136 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,480 Sorry. Hello. 137 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,720 Beverley said you might have a few minutes. 138 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,200 I can come back later. No. No. Come in. 139 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,800 Sure. 140 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,160 OK. Well... 141 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,360 Amazingly, I'm pregnant. 142 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,640 It was 12 weeks on Saturday. 143 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,680 So... I'm cautiously starting to think about the future. 144 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,440 And, what I'd like to do, if nothing... 145 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,360 ..is work up until next Easter. 146 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,720 Then, ideally, if it's possible, 147 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,560 if it's something you can accommodate, 148 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,920 I'd like to come back part-time. 149 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,280 This time next year. 150 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,320 Autumn term. 151 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,320 Right. 152 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,080 How possible is that? 153 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,760 I know you've always been very good in the past 154 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,600 with women who've left to start families 155 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,800 and then wanted to go part-time. 156 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,880 You'll have to leave it with me. 157 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,240 If what you're really thinking is, "You'll be lucky", I'd rather you just said. 158 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,600 I hope you know me better than that. 159 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,720 I just need time to work out the logistics, that's all. 160 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,880 Sorry. 161 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,280 OK. 162 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,280 Thank you. 163 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,320 Congratulations. 164 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,440 Thank you. Thanks. 165 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,960 You're too late, you've missed her! Who? 166 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,000 Calamity! Harry's been and fetched her. You all right? 167 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,760 Yeah! Very fair. 168 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,760 Hi, Celia. Are you all right, love? 169 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:00,800 Not so bad. 170 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:02,880 Where is she? 171 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,800 With Harry. He wants you to text him. 172 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,800 He's got summat he wants to show you, he said, 173 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,200 down by t'wharf in Sowerby Bridge. 174 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,920 Is that where he's taken the baby? Well, I'm assuming. 175 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,240 What's he wanting to show us? 176 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,680 I have no idea, but he seemed very excited. 177 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,280 That's sounds ominous. 178 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,480 Down by t'wharf? Yup. 179 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,640 What is there down at t'wharf? 180 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:26,080 Water? Ducks? Geese? Industrial waste? 181 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,680 Are we setting straight off, then? 182 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,360 Make yourself a cup o' tea if you want to. I've got to get to Otley. 183 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,240 I'll just use the bathroom, if that's... 184 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,280 Right. OK. 185 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,440 Are you...? Keeping fit? 186 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,160 Yeah! Yeah, I think so. 187 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,400 Have you not got a date sorted yet? 188 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,680 Oh, have we buggery. 189 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:53,080 Only Ted Skyped again last night. They're all itching to book flights. 190 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,240 It's her sister. 191 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:56,880 Has Celia got a sister? 192 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,200 Muriel. She were in t'year below us at grammar school. 193 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,360 She lives in Sheffield. 194 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,200 So, what's up wi' Muriel? 195 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,640 Celia seems to have a very... What? 196 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,840 ..ambivalent relationship with her. 197 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,520 Right. How come? 198 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,840 I've no idea. We don't go there. 199 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:17,000 Upshot is, she can't decide whether she wants her at t'wedding or not. 200 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,440 Right. 201 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,880 Whereas I can't wait to get on with it. 202 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,840 I know! I know. 203 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,280 Celia does seem to have quite... 204 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:29,720 complex relationships with people, I've noticed. 205 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:33,160 I'll get to t'bottom of it. Right. Good luck. 206 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,120 Oh, text Harry. 207 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,160 Oh, aye. 208 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,920 It's nice to see you. 209 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,520 Eh! Are you all right, love? 210 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,960 Me? Yeah! God, yeah! 211 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,080 Ta'ra! Ta'ra! 212 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,640 Be honest. Well, it's, eh... 213 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:07,440 I think you're crackers. You haven't actually sold your house? 214 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,480 No, but that's plan. It's up for sale. 215 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,960 What, and you're going to live on it, permanently? Through the winter? 216 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:17,280 It's grand and warm. There's going to be a wood-burning stove, 217 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:23,280 telly, DVD, drinks cabinet. satellite dish. 218 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,960 Come and have a look. No! 219 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:32,200 Gordon said we can take it for a spin down Cut. Yeah, come on. Ooh, don't! 220 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,560 It were after Maurice died. You have to seize the day. 221 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,800 It's something I've always fancied, as far back as ever I can remember. 222 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,200 How do you go on opening locks on your own? 223 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,960 Piece of piss, what you on about? Hey, ladies present. 224 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,680 Oh, I've heard worse. I meant baby. 225 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:56,960 He means when you get even older, you dozy old sod. 226 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,760 How're you going to open locks when you're juggling with a Zimmer frame? 227 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,920 Nay, I'll shoot me sen before I get to that stage! 228 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,680 He'll sell his house, live on it for two or three weeks and then he'll get fed up. 229 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,360 He misses Maurice. Aw. 230 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,960 Is it just three of us for supper? Yeah. 231 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,360 Where have Raff and Ellie taken Calamity, then? Oh, just... 232 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:24,840 Robbie - Robbie's... He's got this new girlfriend. Cheryl. 233 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:28,000 So - he works with her. She's a copper. 234 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,880 She's blonde, gorgeous, 235 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,600 15 years younger than him, divorced. 236 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,560 Is he making a point? Yeah. 237 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,880 Of course he is. He's always hated her up to now. 238 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,360 Gone on about how annoying and dippy she is. So, yeah. 239 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:50,760 Men, transparent. What can you do? Present company excepted, obviously. 240 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:56,960 Except Raff says she's moving in with him. Apparently. 241 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,480 John's back with Judith. 242 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,920 I'm really not interested in John, Celia. 243 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,640 Thanks. Really, really not. 244 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:06,880 Oh, no, I was just saying. 245 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,600 I mean, God knows why. 246 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,840 I honestly don't think they can stand each other. 247 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,200 It's just a habit. A bad habit. 248 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,120 How's Caroline? 249 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,760 She's all right. 250 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,400 Oh, yeah! 251 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:25,040 Celia...tell me about your sister! 252 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,080 I didn't know you had a sister. 253 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,320 Oh... 254 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,080 Shame the wedding plans have got bogged down cos of her. 255 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:37,320 Oh, it's not cos of our Muriel, it's cos of Ted, isn't it? 256 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,400 About them not being able to make their minds up 257 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,840 when they're coming over 258 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,800 and where they're all going to stay, and... 259 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,320 No. No, I don't think so. 260 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,000 Ted's waiting for you to fix a date so they can all book their flights. 261 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,560 Oh. 262 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,080 Well, I got the impression... 263 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,840 No, no, there's no problem there. Is there? Dad? 264 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:59,240 Er...well, it'll be tricky for 'em co-ordinating everything, 265 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:00,640 but, erm...no. 266 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,720 No, I don't think the problem is wi' our Ted, really. 267 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,360 Anyway, that's their problem. 268 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,920 You set a date, they turn up, if they can. 269 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,200 I don't think they expect you to organise it around them. 270 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:13,840 They don't. They absolutely don't. 271 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,200 They're not like that. 272 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,920 Have you heard from Will? 273 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,760 Yeah, he's fine. I got a text. 274 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,080 Can I go and live with my dad? 275 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,560 Why do you want to do that? 276 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,320 He's not...boring. 277 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,680 Sorry. 278 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,760 I really don't think that's a good idea. 279 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:12,920 I'm sorry if you think I'm... 280 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,240 ..not very exciting, but I've seen Judith's flat. 281 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,640 You wouldn't want to live there, 282 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,040 you wouldn't want to spend more than five minutes there. 283 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,640 PHONE RINGS 284 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,760 Hello? Caroline? It's Gillian. 285 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,680 'Oh, hello.' 286 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,920 How are you? 287 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,760 Fine! Fine. 288 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,360 Good. 289 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,760 'Are you?' Yeah! Yeah. 290 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,440 I was ringing you...about the wedding. 291 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,080 I'm just concerned. 292 00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:52,840 I thought you might be able to throw a bit of light on something. OK. 293 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,560 It all seems to have got bogged down, somehow. 294 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,240 And...I think it's making me dad a bit miserable. 295 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:03,840 Oh! I know. is it not to do with...um...uh, Ted, his brother? 296 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,040 No. No, it isn't. 297 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,360 'That's what my mum said.' 298 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,880 She's using that as an excuse. 299 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,400 I did wonder. 300 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,600 I think it's to do with her sister. Muriel? 301 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,720 Right. Right. 302 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,280 Ted's fine, honestly. 303 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,480 He's really easygoing, he just wants to fit in. 304 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,080 Yeah - it's... 305 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,440 That wouldn't surprise me, Muriel. 306 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,200 Is she...difficult? 307 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,880 Auntie Muriel? No! God, no. She's... 308 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:35,000 They're just chalk and cheese, that's all. 'OK.' 309 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,880 Only if we could get to t'bottom of whether she's coming or not, 310 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,720 they could move forward with things, that's all. 311 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,040 Oh, she'll be coming. I don't think she wouldn't come. 312 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,600 Well, pinning it down, then, so they can set a date. 313 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,920 Could you ring her? Muriel? Yeah, sure. 314 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,240 Find out what stage they're at in their delicate negotiations, 315 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,800 cos I've got Ted and his lot Skyping every five minutes 316 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,960 'wanting to know when they can book their flights. 317 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,320 'Sooner they can book, cheaper it'll be.' 318 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:03,440 Course. Of course. OK. Leave it with me. 319 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,880 It's just...they're just...it's... 320 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,880 Complicated. 321 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:11,000 Yeah. Yeah. 322 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,960 Oh, hell! Orange again. 323 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000 I hate sport and nature. 324 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,640 No, it's sport and leisure. 325 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,000 No, that's green. 326 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,120 No, that's science and nature. 327 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,120 Is it? Yeah. Oh, OK. 328 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,000 Sherlock Holmes. The Beatles. Shakespeare. 329 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,080 Sorry? The answer. 330 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:34,080 But I haven't asked t'question yet. 331 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,000 No, I know, but it will be one of them. 332 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,440 It always is, the answer. 333 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,720 Or Manchester United. 334 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,720 I've been thinking. Oh, aye? What with? 335 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,320 Oh, you're so funny(!) 336 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:50,960 Why don't I... Why don't me and Caroline organise the wedding? 337 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,080 Really? Yeah. 338 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,840 Only you seem to have got stuck 339 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,320 and I can't believe you WANT to be stuck. So... 340 00:19:58,360 --> 00:19:59,760 Well, I... 341 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,640 We'd run everything past you. We wouldn't do anything you'd hate. 342 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:05,760 Have you spoken to her? Just now, just this second. 343 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,080 Oh. Well... 344 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:10,280 Why don't we just check out some venues for you, at least? 345 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,240 We'll suss a few out and then you choose. 346 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,480 And we'll compile an invite list 347 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:18,400 and then you can...cross anyone out that you don't really want. 348 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,680 Well...I don't know. 349 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,000 I suppose so, if you wanted to. 350 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,680 We would love to. I would love to. 351 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,000 PHONE RINGS 352 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,120 Oh, who's this? 353 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,440 Muriel! 354 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,040 Hello! 355 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,080 PHONE RINGS 356 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,840 Hello? I've just put my foot right in it! 357 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,280 Have you? Why? 358 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,360 She didn't know - Muriel didn't even know. 359 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,840 My mother hadn't even told her! 360 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,360 Wow. Wow. That's... 361 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,400 Alan Buttershaw! 362 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,240 That's...it's so perfect! It's wonderful. 363 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,320 Gosh, you must be so happy. 364 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:59,240 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I am. 365 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,960 So when is it? The wedding? 366 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,800 Well, we've - we've... 367 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,760 Um...how did you know? 368 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,080 Caroline. Caroline just rang, just now. 369 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,280 I am so deep in the doghouse, 370 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,040 it won't ever be worth trying to get out. 371 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,080 It's not your fault. 372 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:13,120 Our Caroline? 373 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,440 You don't know what it's like. Caroline, you didn't know. 374 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,200 Oh, damn! She's spoilt the surprise! 375 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:22,320 I was thinking of popping down this...this very weekend, 376 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:25,320 this coming weekend, to tell you. 377 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:26,720 Both of us, me and Alan. 378 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:27,760 How's she taking it? 379 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,680 She's smiling, she's happy. 380 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:34,920 She's laughing! 381 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,440 Yeah, well that's just... 382 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,240 You wait till she comes off the phone. 383 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:41,480 It'll be Armageddon. 384 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,200 The forces of Gog and Magog 385 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,400 will gather from the four corners of the earth... 386 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,120 You're losing me, Caroline. Yeah, well, good luck. 387 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,120 I've offered to organise the wedding for them. 388 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,520 And I said you'd help me. 389 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,680 Hello? 390 00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,600 'Go on! 391 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,320 'Come on, we'll have a laugh.' 392 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,440 I could use a laugh, couldn't you? 393 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:04,920 I'm... 394 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,280 ..bloody well fed-up. 395 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,320 'I have been for months.' 396 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,880 Yeah. Yeah... 397 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:18,080 Yeah, all right. 398 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:20,880 Oh, wonderful! That'd be lovely. 399 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,960 So this coming weekend? 400 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,600 How are you fixed this coming weekend? 401 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,440 Yes, well, if that was the plan, if that fits in with you and Alan, 402 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,000 it's absolutely fine with me. 403 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,480 You'll be thinking I wasn't going to tell you. 404 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:32,800 'No! No.' 405 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,120 And nothing could be further from the truth. 406 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,720 No, you wanted to surprise me - that's nice! 407 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:38,960 Yeah... 408 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,320 Well, give Alan my love. 409 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,640 I will. 410 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,640 Oh, Caroline was telling me her and John are getting divorced. 411 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,360 Oh - what else did she tell you? 412 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,840 Nothing, she didn't have time. 413 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,480 I wanted to ring you to say congratulations. 414 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,240 You'll have to fill me in when I see you. 415 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,400 Yeah. 416 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:59,080 OK, then. Aw! Bye-bye. 417 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,160 Bye, bye. Bye-bye! 418 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:07,920 Who were that? 419 00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:11,600 Muriel - our Muriel. 420 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:14,520 Nice. 421 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:15,920 Yeah. 422 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,040 Whose roll is it? 423 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,320 I don't know what Caroline was thinking of, 424 00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:25,720 ringing our Muriel. 425 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,440 Well, she'd have assumed - and she wasn't alone - 426 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,840 that you'd spoken to Muriel any number of weeks ago. 427 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,600 Well, I never said I had. 428 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:37,280 If you don't want her there, we won't invite her. 429 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,360 What're you smiling at? You. 430 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,280 Whenever have I said I didn't want her there? 431 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,680 It's an impression you've given. 432 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:45,960 I don't know how. 433 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,880 She's always to be interfering. Who? 434 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,320 Caroline - always has to be organising everybody. 435 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:56,720 Of course I want my sister at my wedding! 436 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,760 Good! Good. 437 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:04,440 I don't know why you've got that expression on your face. 438 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,200 She's all right, our Muriel. 439 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,280 In small doses. 440 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,440 And if Gillian told you to jump off a cliff, 441 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,080 what would your response to that be? 442 00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,920 Mum, I've explained what happened. I won't go through it again, 443 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,320 because you are choosing not to hear what's being said. 444 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,480 What YOU have to decide - when you're calmer - 445 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,760 is whether you want Muriel there on the day or not, 446 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,920 because it's precisely no skin off my nose. 447 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,680 It's your wedding, your big day. 448 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,920 No-one else minds what you do as long as you're happy. 449 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,360 KNOCK ON THE DOOR 450 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,760 That'll be John. 451 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:39,760 Lawrence? 452 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:45,360 I, erm... 453 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:47,800 Sorry. Could...? 454 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,000 This isn't your problem, clearly. 455 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,480 But just...just so you're aware... 456 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:04,920 Judith's pregnant. 457 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:08,960 Jud...? 458 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:11,520 How? 459 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,400 I mean, how...? How can...? Eight or nine weeks. 460 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,960 Is it yours? She...yes. She's not slept with anyone else. 461 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,680 So I dunno, I... Has she been to see a doctor? 462 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,880 Yes, just this week. And? 463 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:30,160 It's definitely not...something else? 464 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,520 Such as? 465 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,920 Does she want it? 466 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,160 I...it's...all very... 467 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,120 And the reason...the reason I'm telling you this 468 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:46,520 is that things might get a bit fraught round there, 469 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,200 given that it's all just reared its... 470 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,520 So... 471 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,520 ..as much as I'm happy to have Lawrence for the weekend normally, 472 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,120 if you wanted to take him with you instead, 473 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,240 to Halifax, just this weekend, 474 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,760 I would completely understand that that might be the better option. 475 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,200 Not for you, obviously. But for him. 476 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,640 Popsi-Cola! 477 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,360 You're going to have to come with me. What? 478 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,120 To Gillian's. Why? 479 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,160 Because it's not a great weekend for us to do this, 480 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,480 as things have panned out... I'm not staying here. 481 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,800 No, we're going to Gillian's. I'm not going to stupid Gillian's! 482 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,560 I'm going to yours with you. 483 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,320 It's...Lawrence... 484 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,560 Hates me, I'm boring. No, you're not. Apparently. 485 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,360 Lawrence? You can't...! 486 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:48,880 You'll be on your mobile? 487 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,160 Hello! Hi. 488 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,040 Caroline. Robbie. 489 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,120 They're off to York Races for t'day. 490 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,240 Hello! Awww...! 491 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,280 I'm Cheryl! How do you do? I'm Robbie's better half! 492 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,480 Other half - what am I like?! Don't tell me! 493 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,440 Ain't it a shame about t'weather? 494 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,640 I like your jacket - 495 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,000 I love the pattern, it's really classy. 496 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:42,160 Bye, then! 497 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,240 I don't know how late we'll be. No problem. 498 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,400 Loving you and leaving you. 499 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,680 Bye! Have a nice time! 500 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,240 That's the baby. That's Ellie. 501 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,160 Oh, my God! Oh! 502 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,680 You're a grandmother. Hm... 503 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,520 She's annoying. 504 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,240 Bloody York Races. They've money to burn. 505 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:09,920 He's got homework. She's got homework. 506 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,400 I thought - weren't you and Robbie...? 507 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:17,160 No. Hell, no. That went tits-up months ago. 508 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,080 Oh, I'm sorry. 509 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,560 Right, Batman. What's the plan? 510 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,080 Lunch. Somewhere nice. 511 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,440 To be honest...I'm a bit skint this week. 512 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,760 Well, I'm not. I'm...I'm loaded. 513 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,320 I can't have you paying for me. Yes, you can! Get your stuff. 514 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:38,600 Do I need to get dressed up? 515 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:39,800 Only if you want to. 516 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,240 Where we going? It's a surprise. 517 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,520 Whose car we going in? I don't care! 518 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,000 I came here with Kate, three months ago. 519 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,760 It was horrendous, it was when we fell out. 520 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,320 It struck me as being a nice place for a wedding. 521 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,520 I'm sorry you fell out. 522 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:36,560 Tell me about Muriel and your mum. What's all that about, then? 523 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,200 It's a long story. 524 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,800 Well, it's an old story. 525 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,080 And it may be me reading too much into things. 526 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,040 I mean, she's never actually said anything. 527 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,560 You don't have to tell me, honestly. I'm only being nosey. 528 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:52,520 My mum, after they moved to Sheffield... 529 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,040 ..after - presumably - she'd given up on your dad 530 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,240 ever getting in touch... 531 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,960 ..went out with this lad, Frank. 532 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:04,320 It was serious, apparently. 533 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:05,880 But then the upshot was... 534 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,080 ..he ended up marrying Muriel. 535 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,040 No. No way! 536 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,400 Of course, my mum's version is that she dumped him, 537 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,320 and THEN he took up with their Muriel. But... 538 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,280 ..why would she be so funny about Muriel so many years on? 539 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:20,720 God. 540 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:25,080 All I know is...they'd had a spat about something, 541 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:26,320 Muriel and my mum. 542 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:31,000 This is - God - years ago, just after me and John got married. 543 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,080 And she was upset - Muriel was - 544 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:35,920 so I popped round to see her, 545 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,800 to see if I could pour oil on...whatever. 546 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:44,720 And she said, "What it is is, 547 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,440 "she's never really forgiven me about Frank". 548 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,920 And stupidly, I didn't say, "What do you mean?" 549 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,920 I think I just left. 550 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:56,880 Where is Frank? 551 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:58,600 Dead. Years ago. 552 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,040 Are you the two ladies enquiring about wedding facilities? Yes! 553 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,600 Would you like to have a look at the brochures, over lunch? 554 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,920 And then perhaps I can show you around? Thank you. 555 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:23,240 Um... 556 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,560 I know you wouldn't mention it, but just so you know... 557 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,320 Muriel never knew about me and Kenneth. 558 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,080 About all the ups and downs we had 559 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,680 after I found out he'd been mucking about behind my back. 560 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,520 OK. Like I say, I know you wouldn't, but... 561 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,520 Not the sort of sister you could confide in, then, 562 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:44,840 when it came to the crunch? 563 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,080 No. No...not our Muriel. 564 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,960 Well, who did you confide in? 565 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:52,200 Well, no-one. 566 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,640 Nobody. I didn't want folk knowing. 567 00:31:55,680 --> 00:32:01,560 I nearly told my mother, once, when I was at a particularly low ebb. 568 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,720 But...it would have broken her heart. 569 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,480 And she'd have killed him. She would have! 570 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:11,520 So, no. I dealt with it on my own. 571 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,720 Then I told Caroline, eventually, 572 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,800 when she was old enough to understand. 573 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,880 And then...yeah. 574 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,040 You're the only other person I ever told. 575 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,680 I've got a table booked for this evening for seven. 576 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:34,920 It's just down here, 577 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,960 we've an Italian restaurant just two streets away. 578 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,520 It's very nice, it's very good, we're very lucky. 579 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:41,880 Do you like Italian, Alan? 580 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,160 Oh, I can eat anything! 581 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:44,560 And this afternoon, 582 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,240 Martin and Joanne said they'd pop in with the girls. 583 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,000 How long is it since you've seen the girls, Celia? 584 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,520 They've shot up! 585 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,400 Martin's my eldest. 586 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,000 Laura's just started the second year of her A-levels, 587 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:57,920 she's doing very well. 588 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,960 William's gone to Oxford. How's he getting on? 589 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,840 Fine, as far as we know. 590 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,560 He's only been there a week... Do you have grandchildren, Alan? 591 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,480 Just the one. Raphael. Raff. 592 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,720 He's just started the second year of his A-levels as well, 593 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,120 same as your...? Laura. Laura. 594 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,080 You must be so proud of him, William. 595 00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,480 Well, I always think pride comes before a fall, so... 596 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,600 Of course she's proud of him. 597 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,920 I'm proud of him, he's not even my lad! 598 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,240 Aw! What does your daughter do, Alan? 599 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,760 She farms. She's a farmer. She farms sheep. 600 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:33,280 Oh! Of all the things you might've said, and I'd been guessing, 601 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,000 that would not have been one of them! 602 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,760 Is it a special variety, breed? 603 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,800 No, no - just your bog-standard Swaledales. 604 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,440 Fascinating. It can be. 605 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,840 Lambing! Oh, yes! 606 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,800 Tell me about Caroline. What about her? Her and John. 607 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:55,160 Oh, well. 608 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,400 He, er...started messing about with somebody else. 609 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,360 No...no! He's an idiot. 610 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,040 John? Well, yeah. 611 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:04,240 I am sorry. 612 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,720 It was about a year ago. 18 months. 613 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,360 Course, he came crawling back - when was it? 614 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,840 Three or four months since. 615 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:14,080 Realising what a fool he'd been. But... But she'd moved on. 616 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,560 Well, she realised she didn't need him any more. 617 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,080 Good for her. I think so. Good for her. 618 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,160 Absolutely. Absolutely. 619 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,760 Well, I'm going to make another pot of tea, Alan, if...? 620 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,720 Smashing, yes. Thank you. 621 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,120 We should go into the garden. It's such a lovely day! 622 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,160 Oh, I don't know how much more of this I can stand. 623 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:36,520 What? 624 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,240 Who does she think she is? 625 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,680 POSH ACCENT: "And what do you do, you little person?" 626 00:34:40,720 --> 00:34:42,760 She seems right enough. 627 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,720 Why do folk ask a question, 628 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,440 and then interrupt as soon as you embark on an answer? 629 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,320 She's just thrilled to see you, she's just... 630 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,200 "Our Martin, our Laura." 631 00:34:52,240 --> 00:34:55,480 She wants to put a sock in it, she never stops. 632 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,680 Do not tell her about Caroline. 633 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,320 Instead of tea, can I tempt anyone to a gin and tonic? 634 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,400 She'd love this. So would he. 635 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:13,520 Can we talk about costs? Packages, deals, numbers? 636 00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,560 Of course! Can I offer you ladies a glass of champagne? 637 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:20,840 Um...yes. Thank you. Do you want to join me in The Waterhouse Bar, 638 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:21,920 when you're ready? 639 00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:27,280 If I drink too much, can you drive my Land Rover? 640 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,880 What if I drink too much? 641 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:31,880 We'll be up shit creek. 642 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,200 WAR FILM BLARES 643 00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:51,840 I'm going out. 644 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:53,280 Is this too loud? 645 00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:56,480 No! No. It's me. It's fine. We can turn it down. 646 00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:00,080 It's fine. It's just...I can't concentrate. 647 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,440 Where are you going? Just for a walk. 648 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,600 Shall we all go? No. We can all go. 649 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,480 I just...no. No, you... 650 00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:12,800 Perhaps you could get something for supper...while you're out. 651 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:14,840 Pizzas or...? Yeah. 652 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,320 How long will you be? 653 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,600 I don't know, does it matter? 654 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:18,840 Have you got your mobile? 655 00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:28,600 Isn't she too old to be pregnant? 656 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:32,040 Well...no. 657 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,000 Is she all right? 658 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:35,920 I... It's... 659 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,360 Why did you ask her if she'd got her mobile? 660 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,120 Oh, she can't... 661 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,920 She doesn't... She sometimes... What? 662 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:47,120 I'll just follow her. 663 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,480 I'll just make sure she doesn't... 664 00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,640 She shouldn't really be drinking, you see. Right. 665 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,520 Shan't be long. Famous last words. 666 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,880 Harry Wallace! Good Lord. He once asked me out. 667 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,840 Oh, Harry asked everyone out. 668 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,800 Oh, I'm sorry, not that... No, no, I know he did! 669 00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:18,720 I didn't say yes! 670 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,680 Did he ever ask you out, Celia? 671 00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:22,760 He wouldn't dare. 672 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:26,320 We're related now, me and Harry. How? 673 00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,520 Oh, well - did you not...tell Muriel...? 674 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:31,800 Er, no. I hadn't. 675 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:37,440 Well, I've got a great-grandchild. Emily. Emily Jane. 676 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,720 His - Harry's - granddaughter and my grandson, Raff. 677 00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:41,920 They've... 678 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,720 I thought...did you not say he was still doing his A-levels? 679 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,960 Yes! They're very young. They're both still at school? 680 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,280 Mm. Oh. Well...it happens. 681 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,760 They're very fond of each other. Of course. And they're not daft. 682 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,840 Well...they were, obviously, or it wouldn't have happened, but... 683 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:00,400 So they've risen to the occasion. 684 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:04,480 Yes! Yes, they seem to be doing. 685 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:05,760 Gosh. 686 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:13,400 Do you think Caroline'll ever get married again, Celia? 687 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,080 Is there anyone? 688 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,800 Well, she's very attractive... 689 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,160 I doubt it. I think she's seen the light. 690 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,320 Seen the light? As regards men. 691 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:26,400 I think she's worked out what shallow-minded half-wits they are. 692 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,680 Oh, not you! 693 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:31,040 Not you, never you. 694 00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,920 Aw, so wonderful. It's so perfect. 695 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:37,800 What a shame it didn't happen all those years ago. 696 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:39,520 Yeah. Yeah. 697 00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:42,600 In oh-so many ways. 698 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,360 Although we wouldn't have had our Caroline and our Gillian. 699 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,920 PHONE RINGS 700 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:56,440 Hello, love! (It's Caroline.) 701 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,760 Mum, this place we're visiting is perfect. 702 00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,040 I think you'll love it - there are various options, 703 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,160 it depends how far you want to push the boat out, 704 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,160 but honestly, I think you'll be charmed. 705 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:08,080 But the point is the only day they've got free 706 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,280 this side of Christmas, and it's a way off, 707 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,320 is Tuesday the 24th of December, so... 708 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,320 But that...that's Christmas Eve! 709 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,640 'I know it's Christmas Eve!' 710 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,040 So we need to make a decision, because it'll probably go, 711 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,360 they're very popular. 712 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,080 (I think they think we're getting married.) 713 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,600 Can you e-mail me some pictures, to Muriel's address, 714 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:28,920 so we can have a look? 715 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:29,960 Just hang on, Mum. 716 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,920 W-Why would they think that? 717 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:38,280 I'm guessing that they remember you bringing Kate here, 718 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:43,480 and they think that I'm just another one of your women. 719 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,720 No! 'Hello?' 720 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,280 Are you there? Caroline? 721 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:52,720 Hello? Sorry. 722 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,200 Can you e-mail me some pictures? 723 00:39:55,240 --> 00:39:56,520 Yeah, I can. 724 00:39:56,560 --> 00:40:00,440 I've...got Muriel's e-mail address on my phone. 725 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:01,800 STIFLED LAUGHTER 726 00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,040 What are you laughing at? 727 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,960 Nothing. We've just had some champagne, that's all. 728 00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:10,360 Oh, don't do that! Why not? It's frightening. Oh, thanks. 729 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,360 My pelvic floor isn't what it was. 730 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,680 I'm going to finish wi' you if you're not careful. 731 00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:16,240 I can't hear what you're saying. 732 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:22,120 I'm going to send you some photos and a list of costs, Mum. 'OK.' 733 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,760 Are you having a nice time? 734 00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,560 No. 735 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,920 I'm sorry I rang her, I'm sorry I put my foot in it. 736 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,320 It's fine, it's forgotten. You didn't know. 737 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,280 I love you. 738 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:34,560 Aww! 739 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,600 'I love you.' Bye. 740 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,320 Bye. 741 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:39,600 Bye-bye. 742 00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:48,160 HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER 743 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:49,600 How are we doing, ladies? 744 00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:09,120 That's fantastic. 745 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,000 Thank you very much, we will. 746 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:15,640 Bye. Bye. Bye-bye. 747 00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,440 Have they got it? Yeah. 748 00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:23,680 "Inebriated headmistress leaves phone in hotel bar." 749 00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:26,240 "Drunken pillock leaves phone in hotel bar." 750 00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,360 That's not good copy, that's just normal. 60. 751 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:35,880 Quick, open up, I need the loo. 752 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:42,240 Oh, I never lock up. Nowt worth stealing. 753 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,520 VOICEMAIL: 'Hello. This is Caroline. 754 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,960 'Leave a message and I'll get back to you as quickly as I can. 755 00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:00,360 Mum? Dad went out. Ages ago. 756 00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:01,680 I can't get hold of him. 757 00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:03,440 Can you come and get me? 758 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,240 Where are you? Why aren't you answering? 759 00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:15,720 I'm sorry I said you were boring. 760 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:20,280 Mum? 761 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:23,480 Mum? 762 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,360 Tea. Mm. 763 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,280 You definitely all right for driving me back 764 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:34,640 to pick up the Landy tomorrow? 765 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,800 Well, yeah, I've got to get my phone, haven't I? 766 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:37,920 Oh. 767 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,080 What happened? 768 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:52,880 With Kate? 769 00:42:55,800 --> 00:43:00,120 I booked two separate rooms for a romantic weekend. 770 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:01,680 You knob. 771 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:04,880 Don't go on at me. 772 00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:12,520 What time will thingy and whats-it be back from...wherever-it-was 773 00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:13,760 with little doo-dah? 774 00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:19,640 Raff. Ellie. York. Calamity. 775 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:23,480 I've no idea. 776 00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:27,840 Will you have room for me? 777 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:31,040 We've always got room for you. 778 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:38,560 I blew it with Kate. 779 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:42,880 I really blew it. 780 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,240 I only realise now how lovely it was. 781 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,160 How precious. 782 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,840 And I've tried to apologise, but she won't listen. 783 00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:02,760 I think she's decided that I'm bad for her. 784 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:08,000 And there's nothing I can do or say. 785 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:13,560 I'm in this box now, with "bad" written on it. 786 00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,880 Well, not "bad." Just... 787 00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:24,680 "Arrogant." 788 00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:27,760 "Inept." 789 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:31,320 "Selfish." 790 00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:34,640 "Repressed." 791 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,840 Just, emotionally...crippled. 792 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:46,320 You all right? 793 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,480 What about you and Robbie? 794 00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,840 Oh - me and Robbie. 795 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:03,920 That's a different sort of thing altogether. 796 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:07,440 Why? 797 00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:21,600 Do you fancy a drop of brandy in your tea? 798 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:24,600 Are you? 799 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,680 Oh, I hope we've made the right decision. 800 00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:38,920 I think it looks spot-on. 801 00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:42,280 One thing I will say for Caroline - she has good taste. 802 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,600 Well, we're committed now, they've paid the deposit. 803 00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,440 Although she sounded a bit pissed when I spoke to her. 804 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:53,640 Is this...Kenneth? Yeah. 805 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:54,960 That's him. 806 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,240 Hm... 807 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,360 She seems very fond of you, Muriel. 808 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,040 Considering... 809 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,560 Considering what? 810 00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:08,200 Well, that...you don't seem very fond of her. 811 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:10,600 Oh...she's right enough. 812 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:13,960 It's... What? 813 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:21,120 Oh...she's always has to be the centre of attention. 814 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:25,760 She can't just come to a party, Muriel - she has to BE the party. 815 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,480 Well, some people are needy that way, aren't they? 816 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,520 Needy? Is that what it is? 817 00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:35,520 Scared of being left out. Scared of being overlooked. 818 00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:39,600 So they push their way to the front, with their sharp elbows. 819 00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:43,120 Some people might find that attractive, 820 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:44,600 but I'm damned certain I don't. 821 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,280 Is that what you're bothered about? 822 00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:50,720 If she came to t'wedding, 823 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,960 she'd make you feel like it were her big day, rather than yours? 824 00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:57,920 Something like that, yes. 825 00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:04,280 She's very plain, you know. 826 00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:06,760 Compared to you. 827 00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:11,600 And she hasn't made me laugh all day. Not once. 828 00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:16,840 I think the day we get married, you and me together, 829 00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:20,080 we'll eclipse everyone else entirely - don't you? 830 00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,080 Was that her husband? 831 00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:29,040 Yeah. Frank. That's Frank. 832 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:32,720 He's dead. 833 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:41,560 So here's the thing. 834 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:44,520 This is the thing. 835 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,320 Me and Robbie. 836 00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:57,320 I am - I've always been - very, very, very fond of him. 837 00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,840 I should've stuck with him. 838 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,080 Robbie. 839 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,040 But Eddie... 840 00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:11,600 SHE LAUGHS WEAKLY 841 00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:14,440 He was... 842 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,560 ..just one of those men who... 843 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:20,840 Oh, God. 844 00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:27,360 When I was with him, nothing else mattered. Nothing. 845 00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,720 You could've dropped a helium bomb on Halifax 846 00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:31,360 and I wouldn't have noticed. 847 00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:34,360 It was hydrogen. 848 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,200 I shouldn't have done that to Robbie. 849 00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:48,480 But I couldn't help it. 850 00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:53,360 I couldn't. 851 00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:56,400 But you'd got over that, surely, before - 852 00:48:56,440 --> 00:49:01,080 you and Robbie, when you started going out with each other again... 853 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:02,400 Mm, yeah. We did. 854 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:05,720 Wow. 855 00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:07,040 But... 856 00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,720 It's not going to last with that Cheryl, is it? 857 00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:13,080 He'll soon get to the end of her. 858 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,040 He's obviously only bothering... Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. 859 00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:18,840 I know that. I know that. 860 00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:20,160 Sorry. 861 00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,760 Although Raff reckons she's moving in with him. 862 00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:31,160 Am I missing the point? 863 00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:34,160 No. No. No. 864 00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:37,040 I... 865 00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,960 ..don't think...ever... 866 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,480 ..me and Robbie could be a good idea. 867 00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:58,000 Even though, all things being equal, we could've been. 868 00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,040 Why? 869 00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:05,080 We could've been really nice together. 870 00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:08,680 Why do you think you can't be? 871 00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:18,160 I did the...shittiest thing to him. 872 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:26,600 I never told anyone this, Caroline. 873 00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:31,960 I'm...very drunk. So am I. 874 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,080 Are you? Yeah. Really? Yeah. 875 00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:36,800 As drunk as me? I don't know, I'm pretty drunk. 876 00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:39,880 Don't tell me something you're going to regret. 877 00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,440 I want to tell you. OK. 878 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:49,640 I... 879 00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:56,680 I murdered him. 880 00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:01,320 Eddie. 881 00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,520 The only proper family Robbie ever had. 882 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:08,120 And...fuck! 883 00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:20,000 I murdered him. 884 00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,160 You don't know what you're talking about, you never did! 885 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:31,760 It's all so easy, isn't it? 886 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:35,840 It's all so cut and dried and black and white, 887 00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:38,960 that's why you've been so successful all your life! 888 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:42,720 Because you've got all the bloody answers to bloody everything! 889 00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:43,960 Lawrence? 890 00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:48,040 "Just get rid of it, Judith, you're killing it, anyway." 891 00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,640 Can you hear what you sound like? 892 00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,000 Can you hear how nasty it is? 893 00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:56,560 Lawrence? You have no... Men don't! 894 00:51:56,600 --> 00:52:00,120 Women create, men destroy. Fact. 895 00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:04,520 Women create life, men shoot people. 896 00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:07,920 Name me one war started by a woman. 897 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:09,120 The Falklands. 898 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:11,080 Yeah! Exactly! That's the one. 899 00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:12,320 Where's Lawrence? 900 00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:15,920 Out of how many? Since time began? 901 00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:17,880 One war. Where is Lawrence? 902 00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:21,720 And don't say the Trojan War, because that's bollocks. 903 00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:25,840 Pollux. Pollux and Castor, they started it. 904 00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,600 They invaded...Athens. 905 00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:32,800 She was - Helen was just an excuse to get the guns out. 906 00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:34,280 Boadicea. 907 00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,600 Joan of Arc, Elizabeth I, 908 00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:41,320 Cleopatra, Queen Anne, Golda Meir, 909 00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:44,120 Indira Ghandi, Catherine the Great. 910 00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:47,280 Queen Isabella of Spain - she was a bitch. 911 00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:48,320 Tzu-Hsi... 912 00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,480 You made that last one up. 913 00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:53,400 You don't know what you're talking about! Let's face it. 914 00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,960 Gun-boat diplomacy! Who started that? 915 00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:58,640 Queen Victoria! 916 00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:00,280 Where is Lawrence? 917 00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:06,640 He knocked me about. 918 00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:10,720 All the time. 919 00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:16,960 He knocked three of my back teeth out. 920 00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,720 Be careful not to do it at the front. 921 00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:24,800 Where people can see. 922 00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:30,120 Once...he pinned me down... 923 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:33,040 ..and put a cigarette out. 924 00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:38,840 On my neck. 925 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:56,120 I've...shed blood... 926 00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,480 ..in every room in this house. 927 00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:14,960 There were other humiliations. 928 00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:19,560 I won't bore you with them. 929 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:23,920 So... 930 00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:34,200 I... 931 00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,840 The police had me in for...days. 932 00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,160 Hours, over several days. 933 00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:48,840 And me dad. 934 00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,840 I told him same tale I told them. 935 00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,280 That I'd found him with his head in the log splitter. 936 00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,240 He had an inkling there was more to it than that, 937 00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:08,400 me dad did. 938 00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:16,640 So I told him I'd put him out of his misery 939 00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:18,840 after a botched suicide effort. 940 00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:26,600 He bought that. 941 00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:29,120 I think - I think he bought that. 942 00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,280 Then he made me ring the police. 943 00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:44,920 Why are you telling me this? 944 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,200 I don't know. 945 00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:55,720 Because... 946 00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,800 ..that's why it could never work. 947 00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:00,960 Me and Robbie. 948 00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:06,400 Even he - after the coroner's report - 949 00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:07,640 had to accept... 950 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,000 But I did it. 951 00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:27,520 His brother, only proper family he's ever had, 952 00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:29,120 and I... 953 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:34,600 ..did it. 954 00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:39,920 So that's why. 955 00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:43,360 That's why. 956 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:47,800 But other than that... 957 00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,960 I don't know why I've told you, Caroline. 958 00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,080 Oh... 959 00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,080 SHE RETCHES 960 00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,520 I need to know if you're going to go to the police. 961 00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:57,160 Do you fancy a stag night, Alan? 962 00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:58,560 Like in a lap dancing club? 963 00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,920 I decided it was worth, one more time, saying I'm sorry. 964 00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:06,360 My only regret is that we didn't get that bungalow at Ripponden Bank. 965 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,440 It were my fault we didn't get it. 966 00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:12,040 Kate's driven herself into hospital. She's bleeding. 967 00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:15,840 I think you and our Gillian should get back together. 968 00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:19,520 Did you ever know how miserable I was with Kenneth? No. 969 00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:21,680 Hi? We're ready. They're ready. 970 00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:22,720 Have a nice Christmas. 971 00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:24,160 Yeah, how likely is that?